Some days the constant barrage of questions and crying exhaust me. I can't explain why some days I'm more susceptible than others to a momentary breakdown, but it happens. Today is that kind of day.
The babies have been fussier than usual. Lots of tears and a lack of interest in toys and an increased interest in stuff they just shouldn't have seems to characterize them right now. The entire time they are awake, I feel like I'm playing defense. My body is filled with tension from being on guard all day long. I really need to get into a yoga class or something.
The babies are not the only ones shedding tears today. My eyes have been filled many times today. I sense great release when finally I can let them go. Finallyy, I am able to confess that I am simply unable to hold it all together. I alone am unable to muster the physical strength needed to chase down my two little ones or to race them to the bathroom door to close it before they enjoy a quick play in the toilet. I alone am unable to quiet the noise that fills the air around me and the mental stress that accompanies life with five sweet little ones. My tears are a prayer to the Lord, whom I know is able. He is able to do all things. Today, Lord, I pray that in my weakness you will be strong. Shine through me. Move in me. Touch me and make me whole. I need You. Thank you, Lord, for your kindness to me.
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